Lonely, rich and bald Lover
by Carolusrising
Summary: Lex Luthor tires on online daiting in a desperate attmpt to find the right one for him, or at least to find someone to stalk. In this quest for satisfaction he learns that he is not the only one he knows online daiting. Timeline might go really random
1. The Hunt Begins

Yes I decided to make a more serious comedy fanfic. In this one there will be actul trace of the charater.

In this story Lex Luthor will meet some reconise able faces will online daiting

**

* * *

**

**Lonely, rich and bold lover **

Lex luthor sat alone on his mansion. Of course he was alone he had no one to be with since everybody hated him. But that didn't matter now because he had found something that would change his life.

Internet dating. Lex Luthor had been stuck by the idea of finding someone special over the net for some time now.

Lex Luthor logged on onto his profile. Lonely, rich and bold lover, he had a good feeling about this night.

He searched through what seamed as an endless list of braggers, before he found someone that interested him. **No secrets-they suck. **

Lex opened up a chat window.

Lex: Hey how are you doing this evening?

No secrets-they suck: bad

Lex: Why bad?

He should have known that anyone with that name was an emo

No secrets-they suck: There is this stupid poor farm boy that always keeps his dumb secret from me.

Lex got a hint of who he was talking with.

Lex: So have you been swimming in the lake lately?

No secrets-they suck: In this weather you would die unless you chill yourself of in the lake. But if you stay in the lake too long you freeze to death.

Lex recalled someone else who had said the exact same thing. He had heard it then he was down at the lake with Clark, Lana, Chloe and Pete. It had been pleasant until Whitney showed up and tried to kill Lana.

Lex: That's sucks.

No secrets-they suck: not as much as almost being killed by a ex who everyone thought was dead.

Now Lex was sure about who was on the other side.

Lex: I guess that has happened to you a lot.

No secrets-they suck: You wouldn't have a clue. It got even worse then i discovered that my best friend was selling naked pictures of me over the internet. It was even worse then that time I realised i was in love with a poor farm boy

Lex immediately got excited he wanted to see those pictures

Lex: That sucks could you give me a name and I fixes that problem.

No secrets-they suck: I should keep it a secret but I can't because secrets suck. My friend's number is 645324622.

Lex: Thanks have a nice life Lana

No secrets-they suck: How did you know and why where you keeping it a secret for so long? God how could you keep this a secret from me.

Lex wrote down the phone number and then disconnected Lana.

* * *

Lex was very eagerly to see if he could get a picture of Lana. But he couldn't let anyone know that he was after those pictures or Clark and Chloe would make his life hell. Because they probly had nothing better to do, it must suck to be poor.

Lex sat up a voice coordinator next to himself. With trembling hands he called the number, on his fathers self phone which he stolen several weeks before.

He got an instant response

A very angry person: I am not going to do a investigation on Clark Kent. Please don't kill me, kill my dad or my mother. Just dont kill me

Lex bumped his head in the wall he had run right into another wall of brick. But he was desperate to get a picture.

Lex: I'm not interested in killing you. I want a picture of a certain friends of your.

Lex had thought it was an awesome idea to have the voice coordinator makes him sound like Darth Vader

Chloe: Darth Vader? I would never do anything to support your evil empire. Unless you want me to kill Yoda, his almost as annoying as Lex Luthor

Lex realised that it was time to use his must convincing tool. The story that makes no sense

Lex: You realised that when Napoleon became king he was not only a king. He was an emperor. He demanded a naked paint picture of all his defeated foes. So he forced a painter to undress every solider he taken captive and paint them, in there full beauty. Every painter denied his request but Napoleon said. I de.......

Chloe: God Darth if I wanted a boring story I would just have gone to Lex.

Lex felt his cheeks turn red in anger. He was about to yell a curse word into the phone then Chloe hanged up.

Lex had only one goal now. He was going to get a picture from Chloe and when his choice was limitless. Nothing would keep him from these pictures

* * *

Got to ask you to drop a review dont i?


	2. A Plan Takes Form

Just a fast recap.

Lex Luther was online dating then he accidently got into a chat with Lana. During this chat time Lex learned two things. One that Lana is really annoying. Second that Chloe are selling naked picturies of Lana.

Based on this knowledge Lex tried to talk to Chloe about buying one. He was denied witch was mainly becouse of his paranoid side.

But Lex didnt give up and is now after the picturies. In his evil head a master plan has already taken form.

**A Plan takes form  
**

Lex Luthor aka lonely rich and bold lover know what he was after. This was his chance to be happy ever after.

If he could get one of the pictures of Lana naked he would have what he always wanted. Maybe he would copy it and send one to Clark. He might trade a copy for Clark's secret. Lex felt his mouth being filled with water.

He had studied and written several different plans during the past two months.

The door to his office suddenly opened and his long lost and barely loved brother stormed in. Lucas Luthor was here to do Lex dirty work.

Lucas: Hey Alexander

Lex hated then people used his full name. He had changed to Lex do to the fact that he couldn't write an autograph for the name Alexander.

Lex: Ahh the prodigal son returns after being away so long again.

Lucas: I have been locked into your wine cellar all this time.

Lucas did not think being locked into a wine cellar was a good way to protect him from Lionel. Lex was in another opinion.

Lex: Let's just get to business it tends to be pretty boring then two Luthors talk to each other.

It was a tense nature in the office both locked out for the other once weakness.

Lex pressed a big red button on his desk. Immediately the entire room got filled up with pictures of Chloe. It also included her personality written in several different languages and studied by several mentalists.

Nobody but Lex Luthor

Lucas: So you are stalking teenagers now?

Lex: I put every man I had available to find out more about her for one reason. She sells naked pictures of this girl.

He pressed another button. The entire room got filled with pictures of Lana.

Lucas: wow so why do you care so much?

Lex: You remember that time then dad told us about Napoleon?

Lucas: Dad put me with foster parents. In Germany

Lex: Forgot that you were the lucky one.

Lucas: Lex in Germany. I grow up on bear and jägermeister.

Lex: I grew up on Sun Tzu and a bold superhero called warrior angel.

Lucas: Okay i am the lucky one.

The two brothers went out to the garage and entered the Luthor mobile. It had been Lucas idea to call it that. They were on the way to the Luthor cave, to meet Luthor man.

Before entering the Luthor cave Lex and Lucas stopped to talk through the plans.

Lex: Remember to make sure that you don't lose your face then i mention that we are going to work on charity.

Lucas: Lex Then have I ever lost my face?

Lex: I monitored you while you were looked down in the wine cellar. It happened several times.

Lucas: By the way why are we telling dad were going to Africa his not involved at a inch.

Lex: This is a very valuable item we are after; I just want to make sure he isn't following us.

Lucas: You're paranoid.

Lex: I know, however it hadn't help me from almost getting killed several times.

Lex and Lucas entries the Luther cave. This is actually Luther corp. Metropolis.

Somehow Lucas and Lex mange to surprise Lionel in his office with there arrival.

Lionel: Lucas so good to see you how have you been?

Lionel runs over and hugs Lucas

Lucas: I could not complain. Lex has a really good wine cellar.

Lionel takes a look on Lex and then nods

Lex: Dad the really reason we are here is because we are going to go to Africa. We have founded charity organisation to help the children get proper schools.

Lucas: Yeah those children are going to be so dumbstruck then we tell them they have to go to school.

Lionel: Lucas these children actually want to go to school.

Lucas: Huh?

Lex: The important thing is that we won't be around for you to annoy. Come Lucas lets go.

Lex and Lucas rushes out of Lionel's office. Just before the door both of them stop.

Lex: Okay its time for that turn around and be dramatic. You want to do it?

Lucas: No those scenes suck.

Lex: Okay I do it.

Lex turns around and does the last speech scene

Lex: Just so you know dad we wont be anywhere near Chloe Sullivan in the past days.

Lex and Lucas leaves the office. Lionel stands stupidly still until he realises that he has to comment something

Lionel: Maybe I should see what they are up to. This might actually be worth it.

**Lex mansion **

Lucas: Okay first step in the plan is done what we going to do now?

Lex: Sun Tzu said that if you know yourself and the enemy you do not need to fear the result of a hundred battles.

Lucas: Yes?

Lex: You are going to date our enemy to make sure that we know exactly everything about her.

* * *

Whoo now that is what i call a cliffhanger.


	3. The ninja and the reporter

Chl**ass** is Smallville writers favorite shipping.

True fact too be told Chloe and randome asshole is Smallville writers favorite shipping for Chloe. First it was just pyshopaths and Clark. Then it was Jimmy and Davis. Whom both turned out to be a bit strange. Now its mainly Oliver aka Green arrow aka Half time alcholic.

With this in my mind I will focus atleast to episodes on everyones favorite shipping. Chloe and Lucas enyoj

* * *

Summary for Last chapters.

Lex while being alone and pathetic, was daiting online. He randomly got a chat with Lana who told him that Chloe sold naked pictures of her. Lex realised that to live on he needed one of them.

Lex contacted his brother Lucas (Whom he had kept chained up in a wine celler for the last two years.) Lex showed Lucas his new opssesion, Chloe. Lucas agreed to help Lex and they cracked a plan of getting Lucas to date Chloe. But before they could execute their plan, they had to get Lionel out of the way.

After tricking Lionel that they were going on a charity trip to Africa. (Also mentioning that they wouldnt be near Chloe. Lex and Lucas are ready to make their move on the unprepared and unprotected Chloe.

What will happen? Will Chloe and Lucas go on a date? Will Clark do something dumb? And a question all fans have been asking me, why was Lana never showed in part two?

The answers will be found in this chapter.

* * *

Chloe was a happy person nearly every day. The day's she wasn't happy was those days were Clark ditched her for Lana, which happened everyday. So Chloe wasn't happy at all.

This day was sucking worse then a ordinary day. Today was Lana's aunts birthday and Clark had abandoned her at the cafeteria to get there early. Lana wasn't even going on the party. she was pissed on her aunt for making her new boyfriend a secret.

Chloe was driving her car around just to waste some oil. Suddenly a big van pulled up next to her. It was a very small road so she was forced of the road immediately.

Directly as Chloe was pushed of the road the Van stopped. A ninja dressed in full black jumped out of the van. He draws his sword and prowled closer to Chloe's car. The ninja was really bad at prowling and had already been captured on Chloe's camera about ten times. But the ninja came closer and Chloe started to run.

The Ninja chased Chloe as fast as he could. He was slowed down by the heavy clothes he was wearing. Suddenly Chloe stopped and picked up a rock. She hurled it on the ninja, it hit him in the head and knocked him out immediately.

Chloe had once again defeated killer she had no reason why he was after her. Before she could go to the ninja and unmask him Lucas Luthor appeared on the road. He was armed with an assault rifle.

Lucas pointed the rifle towards the ninja and emptied its magazine. He reloaded his rifle and went towards Chloe.

Lucas: Chloe I'm so glad I managed to get her in time. I cant believe what would have happened to you if I would have showed up even a minute later.

Chloe backs away from Lucas. It is creepy to meet a Luthor caring a rifle.

Chloe: What do you mean I downed that ninja? Unless there are more of those b ninja kids around here I think I'm safe.

Lucas pulls out a piece of paper and rips it into thousand pieces. The damm script was no use now

Lucas: I was just dumbstruck, like that time I saw Parris Hilton at the airport.

Lucas disappears into his imagination

Chloe: Could you drop the rifle please.

Lucas is still lost in a day dream.

Chloe: dammit why are all of them so weird?

Chloe picks up a stone and hits Lucas in the head. Lucas falls on the ground and once again sees all the wonders in the world. Not to mention the blood running out of his nose.

Lucas: Thanks you saved me.

Okay then a plan like Lucas and Lexs backfires you got to improvise.

Lucas: Chloe you saved me from the spirit of a random meteor freak.

Chloe: Nothing to mention. How do you know about the meteor freaks?

He had never been a good actor and a really bad liar (for being a Luthor) now he was facing the greatest task in his life. To make up perfect lie with a broken nose, not counting the intense pain

Lucas: My brother told me about those and your obsession with them Chloe.

Chloe spent some moments thinking. Only her, Lana, Clark, Lex and Pete knowed about the meteor freaks. This guy was clearly not Pete's brother and Clark was adopted. Lana was an orphanage. That meant this guy was Lex Luthors brother.

Chloe: Exactly when did i tell you my name was Chloe?

If Lucas had his rifle in his hands, he would put a bullet in his head. As it was now he had to think harder when ever before.

Lucas: My brother talks a lot about you Chloe.

This was uncharted territory for a Luthor actually telling the truth. But the good thing with telling the truth is that you don't need to speak the whole truth. That was the thing Lucas kept mentioning in his head.

Chloe: So how is Lex doing?

The panic Lucas felt made him cracks.

Lucas: Not so good he is lying unconscious at the road over there, dressed as a ninja. With about thirty blanks in his head, our plan backfired

Lucas slapped his hand hard over his head forgetting his nose was broken. He hit himself hard enough to knock himself down.

Chloe: So Lex wanted to kill me? Something tells me that there is a bigger story here.

She run over to Lex and pulled of his mask. He was still unconscious and bleeding from his nose. Chloe was fast to take a picture of Lex and his whole ninja suit. This was going to be a great story.

Lucas walked up behind her. He was in great pain and possessed no threat to her at the moment.

Lucas: I know this looks bad but really. Lex just wanted to introduce me to you. Because from the moment I saw those thousands of pictures he got on you I fell in love with you.

Lucas had once again cracked up the plan. He would have hit himself in the head again, but he did not have the power to lift his arm.

Chloe: That was kind of a random and strange. I tend to like strange and random.

Lucas: How about we talking about random and strange over dinner tomorrow night.

Lucas was about to pass out in pain. He had blow up a lot vital information about the project. But maybe he was going to make it.

Chloe checked her notebook. Tomorrow was the weekly blow of and Lough behind Chloe's back Saturday featuring Clark and Lana. That was something she could skip this weak

Chloe: tomorrow sounds fine. Pick me up at eight and take me to the most expensive place you can find. You pay I know you can afford it.

Lucas: That sounds great. See you to.......

Lucas passed out of pain as Chloe walked out of him. Lex rose up next to him.

Lex: great work Lucas you got the date. Now we need to prepare for that. Ummm Lucas.....

* * *

**Date day morning (Lionel's pow)**

Lionel Luthor sat in his busy office reading the daily planet. The front page was really amusing today.

_Lex Luthor likes to play ninja_

_Lex Luthor billionaire's spoiled son spends his valuable free time running around Smallville dressed as a ninja. _

_You would think that Lex Luthor CEO at Luthor corp. would have something better to do then running around in a farm town dressed as a ninja. But no young Lex spends his time running around playing his childhoods dreams. Just like any other five year old kids would. And if that wouldn't be strange alone, His brother Lucas Luthor runs around with him dressed as Rambo. You would think that those two was through playing but you never know then it comes to rich spoiled sons. etc etc etc _

_By Chloe Sullivan_

Lionel realised two things then he read the article. Once that his once beloved sons had been laying two him. They were indeed both very close to Chloe. He was very angry that they brutal lied to him like that.

The second thing was that this article was the funniest thing he had ever read. Both his sun had been exposed for what they really were immature.

Maybe he was going to go over and congratulate Chloe for the article. He had totally forgot all about Clark Kent. Yes he was defiantly going to offer Chloe a job at the daily planet. He couldn't even remember why he had got her fired.

* * *

**Date day mooring (Chloe's Pow) **

Chloe was eating breakfast. If you would call Coffee a breakfast, She barely ate anything . Mainly because she just wanted to write all day long like she was doing now.

When Chloe looked up again Clark was there. Smiling his big stupid hot farm boy smile

She had not heard any cars pull up and it was like seven in the morning. Her father was not home and the door had been locked then she went to sleep.

Chloe: Clark what a surprise.

Clark: I just wanted to come over and congratulate you for your article about Lex and Lucas. That's probably the best thing you ever written.

Chloe took a look out of the window not noticing any car. Had Clark seriously walked directly into her house at seven in the morning? It was like miles between their houses.

Chloe: Thanks Clark. Are you got anything up today?

Clark: I figured we could do the usually. You me and Pete go to find out about the ghost that been stalking Lana. I think this one actually might be a killer.

Chloe: I think not i got a date tonight. With someone very very very special.

Clark got a dumb look on his face. He wasn't used to being denied by Chloe.

Clark: You got a date? With who? It might be a psychopath or a Meteor freak. What if it is an alien?

Of course Clark was going to worry about her dating a psychopath. After all he was pretty special.

Chloe: Yeah you just walked right into my house at seven in the morning and you worried about me dating someone?

Clark: I just want you to be safe.

Did Clark ever use any other line was the thought that raised in Chloe's mind.

Chloe: How did you get here so fast by the way, then you didn't use a car? And how did you get into the house.

Clark started to sweat his secret was in danger. He had to do something and that inhumanly fast.

Clark: Look a meteor freak. He pointed towards the window

Chloe turned around immediately to look for the freak. Then she turned back to Clark he was gone, with no trace.

Chloe walked out on the alley, somebody had broken the door. She finally knew what was wrong with Clark

Chloe: You did not just blow your secret to me Clark. Haha.

* * *

**Date day morning **(Lex and Lucas pow)

Lex and Lucas sat at the breakfast table. Both had there faces covered in bandage and had a really big problem eating.

They were as always eating every Luthors favourite meal. soup made of vodka and chocolate.

Lex: Okay yesterday didn't go very well for the plan. But everything that matters is that you got your date and the subject doesn't know we are on to her.

Lucas: Yes.... I guess everything turned out okay.

He had ordered every man he could find to make sure Lex never read the paper this morning. It was lucky that Lex never mentioned why he woke up unmasked.

Lex: Today we will progress to step two in the plan. We got to get out all inside information we can while not looking suspicious. We are going to put a wire on you to record everything that happens

Lucas: Yeah umm Lex I have never been on a date like this before. I'm starting to feel something in my stomach.

Lex: Aren't you that guy who makes his living tricking gangster in poker?

Lucas: That just my spare time job. Normally I work at the daily planet.

A Luthor never backed down from a date. Unless they had a date with someone richer. But Lucas was not a whole Luthor; he was only a half blood. That sometimes made him weak and dumb.

Lex: It will be okay I will be there the entire time to make sure that it goes okay.

Lucas: If she seas you it will all be over.

Lex: Don't worry I'm a master to disguise.

* * *

**Date day morning **(Clarks pow)

Directly after he left Chloe, Clark run home faster then the speed of a car. He went into the house to find his mother and father making breakfast.

Clark: Dad I think Chloe knows my secret.

Jonathan: That sucks. How did she find out?

Clark: I kind of just visited her to congratulate her about her article on Lex.

Martha: So you are telling us that Chloe both knows your secret and are working with Lex.

Clark: not exactly check the front page.

Jonathan picked up the paper and saw the article about Lex and Lucas. He immediately began to Lough. Jonathan laughed a little too much and began to roll on the floor.

Martha and Clark laughed at his insane laughter. Until they realised that he was having a seizure.

Clark grabbed him and super speed to the hospital. This day had not started up good.

* * *

**Date day morning **(Pete's Pow)

Pete is sitting in his sofa talking on his self phone.

Pete: Hey Chloe where is Lana.

Chloe: I don't know, why you ask?

Pete: Dunno any news on her stalker.

Chloe: No Pete I'm going on a date tonight.

Pete: Cool cya later then.

Chloe: okay

They hang up.

Pete: Why the heck is this even written down?

* * *

**Date day morning. **(Lana's pow)

Lana had been kidnapped by..... Let's say Dracula. Whom had taken him to... lets say Russia

He tried to kill her but failed, for some reason we don't know. All we know is that it wasn't because of Lana.

Lana when got back to smallville and opened the Talon.

After realising they had no customers she went to Lex. Because she got the feeling Lex needed a helping hand.

* * *

Omg this is getting good.

Lucas and Chloe going on a date. Jonathan having heart problems. Pete appering one time. Lana being kidnapped Not to mention the fact that Lionel is going to get involved now.

Im sure all of you will sit glud to you computers waiting for the next chapter.


	4. The art of seduction by Lex Luthor

**The art of seduction by Lex Luthor**

**

* * *

**

**Date day **One hour to date landing (Lucas pow)

Lucas had spent the entire day making sure that he looked nice. He had brought new sets of clothes directly from French. Lucas had also called every hair expert in Metropolis to make sure his hair was perfect. He was going to wear one of the must expensive sets of tuxedoes ever made.

He even sent a picture of himself to every known homosexual in smallville, to see what they thought about his looks. He got a thump up from nearly everyone. Those who gave him a thump down were people who didn't know themselves that they were gay yet. Amusingly Lucas had sent a picture to Clark and Pete. Both had given him a thump down.

Lucas was now completely prepared for the most important hours of his life. He had so much to win and so much to lose. He hadn't even touched the vodka served during lunch, and he barely tasted the whiskey.

It was a cold day. So Lucas did not risk getting sweaty by actually moving in his clothes. He wandered painlessly around in the mansion. Today would be his one shot at glory.

* * *

**Date day **six hours to date landing (Lana's pow)

It had taken a lot longer then Lana had thought to walk to the Luthor mansion.

On her way there she stumbled across Chloe's article about Lucas and Lex. It had taken her some time to get the meaning behind it. Lex Luthor had kept a secret from her. She was going to land her whole can of angst on him.

She couldn't get why a billionaire would kept a thing like dressing up as a ninja, a secret from her. What could be his reasons?

She was pissed at Lucas too for abandoning her. She had not seen him since he threatened to close down the Talon. Lana thought a second and realised that he hadn't abandoned her. But he had still kept a secret from her.

Lana walked coldly around in Lex mansion. Really slow and bitchy. She entered Lex office without knocking. Ignoring the huge sign Lex had put up saying. Knock or face the consequences.

Little Lana entered the room and fall directly down a trapdoor.

What was down the trapdoor is something you don't need know. All you need to know is that it tried to kill Lana and failed. It however took Lana some time to find the exit. Enough time for me to write about someone that actually has anything to do with the plot.

* * *

**Date day **6 hours to date landing. (Chloe's pow)

Chloe and Pete were in Metropolis shopping clothes. Actually Pete was only there to carry clothes but that doesn't matter.

They had been in the town several minutes now and Pete had his hands more then full. He wouldn't be able to carry it much longer.

Pete: How are you able to afford all of this?

Chloe: I made some extra money

Pete: Cool

Pete isn't that kind of guy that asks how. He is more like that guy who just says cool.

Chloe: What would you say if i told you Clarks got super powers?

Pete: Cool

This was probably the must pathetic thing about Pete. He wasn't good at playing with words. Chloe was a natural talent and wanted to make Pete sweat a little

Chloe: But he still keeps all his secrets from us. Like he was some kind of Aileen. That would be like

Pete realised that they were dangerously close to the only thing that made him special. The fact that he know Clarks secret. He had to change subject

Pete: Not cool. Where's Lana?

Chloe realised the by the fact that Pete tried to change subject that he know Clarks secret.

Chloe: She is probably busy playing with all of ours favourite alien.

Pete: Do you mean Clark, because he is he only alien I know.

Chloe: Yes was he from now again?

Pete: Kryptone its millions of light-years away.

Chloe: and what is his abilities again?

Pete: Super strength, immortality, Super speed, Stalker vision, Heat vision and stalker hearing.

So Clark had a lot more in his slewed then he showed. Still one or two things were unclear.

Chloe: What is Stalker vision and Stalker hearing?

Pete: Clark is able to see through solid objects with stalker vision. He also has the ability to hear things people says miles away.

Realisation stuck Pete.

Pete: Of course I am joking. Clark has never used his stalker vision to watch you or Lana or anyone else expect Lex.

Chloe: You're telling me that Clark has watched every girl in school naked?

Pete: Yes cool isn't it?

Chloe realised that Clark was a pervert that somebody needed to put to sleep.

Chloe: Its there anything that can hurt Clark?

Pete: Green meteor rocks, he losses all his power if he sees one.

Chloe: Thanks for being such a loyal moron Pete.

She was going to pay Clark a visit some other day and give him some piece of her mind

Pete had realised that how easy it was to blow Clarks secret. He was going to have to leave Smallville before the Kent's found out what he had done. Maybe if he made his parents divorce and managed to give his mom a promotion they would move somewhere safe.

Pete: Could you please just don't tell the Kent's I was the one who told his secret. Say it was Lex or Lionel just don't me. They are going to kill me

Chloe: anything for you. Now get my clothes in the car! And drive me home!

It was time to get back to Smallville. It was a three hour drive so she would only have three hours to prepare for her date.

* * *

**Date day **one hour to date landing (Clarks pow)

Clark had a really rough day. First Chloe found out about his secret. Seconds later Jonathan had a heart attack and barely survived. He was going to have to stay at the hospital the entire day.

Normal Clark could go over to Pete's house then he had a rough day. Pete never asked any question and was quite easy to get along with. But today he had gone to Metropolis with Chloe. Since Clark wasn't keen to meet Chloe he had gone to Lex.

But Lex security people hadn't let him in. Or at least they tried to stop him but he knocked them all out. So he let himself in.

Like Lana he had entered the Lex office without knocking. But unlike Lana he didn't step on the trapdoor. Because it was to small for any normal sized person.

But the trapdoor monster would have been a lot easier to deal with then the horror he saw in Lex office.

Lana was helping Lex dress up as a woman. Lex was doing drag dressing. Worse was the fact that it was heard for him to make out who was Lex and who was Lana. Lex was dressing up in the exact same clothes Lana would had a big raven haired fig on himself. He even wore the same makeup as Lana.

Clark super speeded out of the room as fast as possible. He didn't want to see anymore. By doing this he missed the thousands picture of Chloe Lex had all over the office. As well as a huge laser sticking out of the window.

* * *

**Date day **thirty minutes to take of (Lucas pow)

Lex, Lucas and Lana was in Lex office making the final and Lana was dressed in the same way and wore the same make up. The only difference between them was their height.

Lex: Lucas take this earring, its a transmitter so I will be able to keep in touch with you.

Lucas picked up the pink earring and put it on. Lucas thought it was the less manly trinket he had ever worn.

Lex: If anything goes wrong. I will say something like. The rabbit is out. If I do you must escape as fast as possibly.

Lucas: Escape from what?

Lex: Just do it. There is a lot of things that could go wrong here.

Lucas: Like you blowing up the entire plan to the subject's best friend.

This wasn't the time to mention that he, Lucas had blown up the plan to the subject. Not to mention giving Lex a one way ticket to Belle reve who dressed up as ninjas was not considered cool anymore. The best way to get rid of them was putting them in sanatoriums.

Lex: Lana is on our side in this conflict. We share the same goal.

For some reason Lucas found it weird that Lana wanted to get Lex a naked picture of her. Specially then it was putting her best friend in risk. But after all you couldn't argue with a Lana's IQ.

Lex: Lana will stay her hooked up on a direct contact with both of us. we will use code names during the operation. Then we mention the entire team you me and Lana. We will call us The League of L,Ls

Lucas rolled his eyes. This had gone from weird to retarded but he didn't say anything.

Lex: Lucas your codename is Bond, Lucas Bond. My code name will be Alexander Luthor the great. Lana's code name will be something that says clearly that she watches over us. Maybe watch hawk.

Lana: I once saw a hawk get shot down from a watchtower.

Lex: That's it your code name will be watchtower.

Lucas rolled his eyes again. He would have enjoyed a normal date. But no Lex was going to use his date as a way to gain something. He just had to get a naked picture of a girl he just had dressed up as.

Maybe he should bale out before he ended up in jail. After all he was Bond, Lucas Bond. Surely he would be able to escape.

Lex: If you see dad use the codename Lion king and we will withdraw immediately.

* * *

**At the same time in Lionel's office.** And for those of you who wonders its still date day.

Lionel sat in his chair laughing his ass off. Ha had surveillance cameras in Lex office and had seen everything. He had seen Clark use his power. Not to mention Lex dress up as Lana.

Maybe he would pay a visit in this operation. After all he was a true master and he would not keep Clark out of it.

* * *

**What will happen in the next chapter?**

**Will Chloe and Lucas end up doing it?**

**Will Lana actually do something?**

**Will Lex be exposed as a cross dresser?**

**What is Lionel planning?**

**Will Clark die? Is Lex going insane? Is Pete going to save the day? Is Chloe going to use her knowledge of Clark's power? Will Lucas betrayal Lex? All of this question will be answered now. **

**1: yes**

**2: yes **

**3: LOL no**

**4: Hell yeah**

**5: No he is going to go down with his insane brother. Of course he is betraying Lex. **

Seriously check out the last chapter, (If it ever comes out.)


End file.
